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A hand is laying on a table, palm facing up. The hand is chained to a bottle of hard liquor, also sitting on the table.

How Did This Happen?

addiction alcohol alcoholism Apr 24, 2023

Content warning - This blog post contains sexually explicit content.


Written by a CSUCI student.

Alcoholism always starts out fun. In the words of a friend, “All I knew was that it was a drink that made him happy and silly.” -- until that drink overtook them.

The first time is always the funnest, everyone’s a lucky winner.

Warm. Funny. Dizzy. Vomit. Again, another, because I’m a beginner;

starting is always the most enjoyable.

Free from the day, the naysay, the dismay --

Running free. I’m flying. So many lights. Desirable.


I’m desirable... like this. He’s looking -- at me.

Wet, rough, sensual, lights again. Pee.

Do it again, touch me again. Make me feel.

Neck. Tingles. Shivers down my spine --

For tonight, they’re all mine.


It’s now the hundredth time, or more, who’s counting?

Pain this time. Inescapable pain, perplexing.

Why? Dear friend, why does it hurt so much this time?

Why do you send shivers down my spine

And make me feel I need to rhyme to push your pain out of my mind?

Your pain, not mine! You were always so divine --


But now you hate me. It’s not right! That’s a crime!


So many people, so much time.

Waiting. Meal 3. Waiting, in this bed of mine.


How did this happen?