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bullying mental health Mar 24, 2022

Written by a Ventura County high school student.

My experience with bullying is not a pleasant experience, like most bullying incidents. I was bullied from first grade to fourth grade by the same girl. Every day I would think that it would stop, but it didn’t. 

At first, we were friends. We were table partners in the same class in first grade and we clicked fast. We ate the crappy school food together in the cramped cafeteria with our other friends. I thought I made a lifelong best friend, but sadly I was mistaken. Let’s call her L for the sake of keeping her identity private. The belittling became more frequent as the days went on.  L would turn my friends against me by threatening them. She would tell them that she would do the same things she was doing to me to them if they wouldn’t unfriend me. 

Every day I thought she would be nice to me, so every day I was nice to her. I tried so hard to not let the bullying get to me, so I arrived at school with a smile on my face. Unfortunately, I left school with dried tears and no friends. 

L was not a physical bully but a mental one. She got into my head and said some mean things to me. She took advantage of my kindness and used it for her own amusement. She would make me cry by saying mean things and she even told me to kill myself. 

Around my family she would act all nice, so they thought we were good friends and invited her over to play. She put on a nice act and everyone - the teachers and parents - bought it. My parents thought she was one of my best friends because of the nice act she put on, so the bullying left the school campus and followed me back home. She would come over to my house and keep bullying me; saying horrible things to lower my self-esteem (which was barely intact because of the mental damage she did to me) and demanding me to do everything for her. I had to do L’s homework, bring her food, and carry her bags to class. 

She was despicable. At age 10, she had learned how to get her way by being mean. When I finally told my parents, they were furious. They called her parents, but her parents did nothing. Even when L gave me lice four times, her parents did not take her to get it checked out. Her parents allowed her to keep up with her tormenting and so I had to deal with it for three years. 

On the first day of fifth grade I looked for her, she moved away. I was so elated. I was finally free from her bullying and tormenting. My friends apologized for the part they played in my bullying, and I forgave them. I knew that they were trying to protect themselves from the same pain that I was going through. 

Bullying is not okay. If you feel insecure or angry, do not take it out on someone. Talk to a school counselor, trusted teacher, friends, or family. Bullying can lead to self-harm, suicide, drugs, and drinking. Bullying will cause lifelong trauma for some people, so do not do it. If you need an outlet, find one without putting others down for your own release.