Growing, seeing, hearing, experiencing. Being a child, let alone almost being an adult sucks. I can't stand the fact that the world can be more cruel to kids. ”you're still a kid you won't understand”. Then help me understand, show me what i did wrong, teach me how to be better, why do you have to put pressure on me to be someone i am not! Why can't I like the things I want? I am not your toy to play with and make me believe your lies that you tell me at night like a bedtime story. I should have the right to know that I am not alright. That mommy and daddy just divorced because of me. Mommy was so left to find a man while daddy went to jail because of an assault, they failed. What about me? Didn't you tell me that I was to make you happy? What about my mental health, I almost lost my life in this battle of growing up.Saying “im so well, and glad”. About the fight me and mommy had. Now I'm lost trapped in this head rocking looking for a way to escape this jail sail I call home.its not better when parent sell their own kids as sex doll, or get kiddnaped, or get abused, killed, suicide. The pressure of being a kid is probably being alive. Having so much to think of having so much pain to feel. It's like the moment we are born, we are stuck with the people we are supposed to love who either will or not love us. We live in fear over being the best and being okay with things that have happened to us. Im almost 17, not far long to be 18, not far long to still keep on and on with every little thing that i was born wrong. I want to be better. I want to be good but I don't know from good to bad because I was never taught how to deal with these emotions of erosions. I can't help the fact that i am not the only one who is afraid of growing up. And afraid of the upside world or what is ahead of us if we will ever be loved. There is always so much more to tell but that's it for now.